Survival Tips

Imagine having to sit through a feast at one of those social/familial gatherings with control freaks around:
1. Juggle your senses. Relax the sixth sense, activate just the sense of taste to meditate on the bites, suspend the other five senses.
2. Learn to munch and say just Umm... munch harder if still asked for words.
3. Suspend hearing faculties completely as the question round on how and why you have such lousy tastes begins...
4. Let them feel pleasure you are tongue tied while you suspend the necessary senses.
5. Remember to replace their heads with any toad's head of your imagination. For instance you could fit a chimp's face to one across, a baboon's to another beside, a frog to the right, a turtle to the left.
6. And just when they begin to ask who, why and what you think of the world, drop cutlery and hang your head a while under the table and count till five.
7. surface again and say umm..and munch a bigger bite and chew longer than usual.
8. Just then you will be told that you are a personal failure so be quick enough to suspend sixth sense too for  a while.
9.  Feign a helpless seriousness just as they say your personality needs seasoning imagine their heads as pot heads and season them with pepper cans(of course in your head).
10. And then draw a map in the mind, freak out off the line of control as the firing starts.