"Accha", I am in my query mood..."Accha I want to fall in love."
My dad always conceals exasperation well and replies, " So now that is the latest venture"
I continue," Is it true you fell in love with your wife?"
He doesn't reply and shifts the topic to my reading test.... I was six then... I had to wait till I was thirteen for his reply... In the intermittent years I ask my parents' colleagues(the approachable ones) if they could enlighten me regarding my unanswered query. Most of them ignore my asking, some smile, some look at me like am some extinct dinosaur. Finally nearing my eleventh birthday, SR a physics professor makes a remark to my dad as they discuss some campus politics. I hear Prof. SR say," Boss you withdrew the case because you finally married the litigant" . I am all years straining my ears to hear more. I know the source now to complete my new self assigned Report titled"My family and its love story/ies".
I do not know why but felt this compulsive need to finish the report I had started to write when I was six.
I am extremely polite to Prof. SR.. He too is surprised to see me so civil as I wish him on the street, at the gate three times a day(for a week). Finally I have this impossible doubt in my physics text and find a reason to open a conversation. I don't listen to his explanation of Newton's law and he finally closes the text and says," Now tell me what exactly is your doubt?"
I look at him, "Well uncle, er... did you know my parents before they got married?"
He looks at me like a scrooge through round rimmed glasses, gives a nod,"Oh sorry, gravitational force is not responsible for people falling in love" I am all eyes and ears as I say,"Please uncle I need to know" and show him my yellow Donald duck diary.
He sees my half written report that states its objective"To seek the forces behind falling in love: Dad and Mom, A case Study".
He looks at me like am a weird creature but happy at being such a reliable source, starts" Well, all I know is your dad and mother worked at the same department, your mother used her influence and was given an undue promotion and then your dad filed a case...", here he stops watching my bright smile," But then your dad suddenly withdrew the case which he was to win. A few months later they got married" I thank him noting down the date on which the case was filed.
I tuck my report under my bed, my secret hiding place and then after two years, I am walking with my dad. I am thirteen and feeling very grown up. So I ask him" Accha, is this concept of falling in love true?"
He looks at me once then says" Well, maybe, maybe not"
I persist," Is falling in love wrong?" He stops in his tracks and asks me," Now what do you want to ask?"
I hold the opportunity by its neck and ask," I mean when you and mother fell in love... I quickly add ... please don't deny ... SR uncle told me you had fallen in love"
He gives me a very stern look but then says" Well it was both love and then arranged by our families."
I need more information but then I do not want anyone to see my report, so I ask him,
" When you fall in love what does it feel like. I need to know so that I will know when I fall in love"
He looks at me," Certain things in life are to be experienced, they cannot be explained."
I am not satisfied,"But then what if I don't fall in love"
He wants to call it a dead end, so he says," If you plan to fall in love then it is no more love"
I write that golden statement beside my conclusion in the report. And I modify what my brother, the eternal Romeo(I think he used to fall in love every other day of his life) tells me as his view on love,"Girls come and Go, I go on forever".
I modify his statement, "Love , comes , goes, sometimes stays, but Life goes on forever" against the recommendations column of my self styled, report entitled,"My family and its love story/ies". I have a good sound sleep that night, eight years of toil spent on a yellow Donald duck diary, tucked under my bed, to be read only by me.
