Confessions of a Control Freak

I don't smile away, My public face does

I survive on carcass of dead souls

I live to cover my depravity

of mind and soul

I love to choose my victim

 unsuspecting souls

I isolate them

In the name of independence

Just me to feel better

I break first their self esteem

Then their confidence

And then just crack their sentiments

Sometimes in just a disc

I see what can freeze

I induce fear by any means

Sometimes rely on even a lizard

I can drive both rash and late

Just to induce fear

Just to feel better

I see emotions vulnerable

'Coz I use them to manipulate ,

Squeeze other lives

I like to see terror in old eyes

Fear in young ones

I like to create panic, tension

Just to make my feelgood complex rise
The only privacy I respect solely mine
I itch hack to read other's mail
I decry comments/er on  a blog
I long  overhear other's calls,
  track other's internet usage
I belittle,

I diminish others, just an elation
I jeopardize others' access to career
'Coz I love to control monthly allowance
I sacrifice my best oar to a sinking man
But drown him just when he touches
shoreline
I feast on my wins
And on others' loss
I seek to destroy souls

whether insider or outsider

I can diminish own blood

Anyone, just to feel good

Just to feel less insecure

I love to use a glib tongue

With traumatized souls

win their trust with singular motive

To traumatize again and again

I like to replay trauma in heads.
Who speaks to whom, what , when
Bothers me more
I need to decide who can be friends
who family, who foes
No, not mine!
Patronizing comments to beguile
Bystanders think concern
I isolate family and friends
I need you alone
To finish your breath
To make you live
The way I want you to
I never apologise
If ever I do I shift blame
To men and things around
My grand moment
To know another like me exists
So I shift blame to any source
I invalidate trauma
'Coz it suits my needs

I love to disturb others dreams

I like to see them break down

After I trample their dreams

If they see me through

I label them paranoid
I rave to prove to the world
They are crazy imaginings

Or abuse them to finishing line.

Elation rises in me

As I see me render punishment

For my long list of wrongs

I hold just to repeat

Cycles of feigned regret, trauma,truce.
I lend a 'helping" hand
To the one I topple down
Mindgames my hobby

Elate me, Diminish other
Back handed compliments
Lies,Threats, Guilt trips my weapons

Profession or status my armor

Hideous social service my mask

Am a great public face

Private world stinks my depravity

I survive on the carcass

I destroy with care.