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I speak out, words that dangled between hope that you would see light in it and doubt that you would  see it a figment of my wild imagination.
Doubt wins over.
I speak out as if I knew you ever since I learnt to speak.
You choose silence perhaps to switch off my taliking head.
I feel uneasy at the way you alternate between warm converation and sudden clean cut offs.
I found comfort in the kindness offered, in the silent understanding, the kind I could have only till someone I most loved was alive and around.
Perhaps in that similarity of a loud quietness you shared with one in my memory I took freedom to express both thought and emotion.
A freedom which was not of mutual comfort though.
I recoil.
I retire to my self.
I seek company within me.
I train the head and heart to recoil before they hurt too hard.
The comfort of  a blog whose existence you will never know.