Just un-written

How did it feel like an endless continuity?

A first moment when a deep sense of utter loneliness looked up to see the kindest smile flashed across.

Or the moment when a gentle gesture inched a dish across towards an almost uneaten plate.

Or maybe the moment when grey wisp seized it all the way two lives crisscrossed in a way only a certain wisdom could foresee.

Perhaps grey wisp smiled then at one life watching another unawares, a smile perhaps that silently surmised what was missed by the other two for a polite meeting.

An endless continuity else what explains strangerhood to understand another's world of aloneness.

The polite meaningless exchange, the staying longer at a table than needed just to drive a away home feeling away.

A first month that felt like an endless continuity as if we knew and it was one of those zillion times meeting.

A first month, a memory of a smile of strangerhood with a feather in a cap, a memory of  a smiling grey wisp as he senses who I am looking for.

A second month of an absence, a month that grey wisp smiles through with an understanding every time a door opens and expectant eyes turn to him in unexpressed query.

Then a morning when grey wisp makes a remark, it falls on ears that pound too tensed to be spoken to and what is managed to be  heard is a comment on the dish.

Nothing spoken, yet a knowledge that grey wisp sensed it and that was hard for somebody so closed within to take.

A month long later a return, a strangerhood beside. A staring long enough to warrant a query from a soul beside.

A million emotions suppresses  through, a failure to reply well warrants a displeasure that hurts sensitive ways too quick.

Real emotions unexpressed, a quick swift departure.

Then a committed scene, that for months shall define who can speak to whom and how and how much can one relate to the other.

So something bordering on  respectful strangerhood wades through a destiny.

Across unspoken thoughts I hold faith, trust. It mattered that silent presence across and its absence mattered too.

And just when it was time for an end, a destined twist makes way for an introduction.

A strange bond, understanding happens in the beginning and at the end we discover our names, who we are , where we live, what we do.

A conversation that lets know one is not committed.

A beautiful way in which faith sees itself through, a gentle comfort through a crisis but then a strange distance settles in the way speech is punctuated by avoidance, a cut off a disappearance.

A sudden aloneness, the pain of being distanced for no valid reason.

Amidst a struggle of a different kind, grey wisp lets know a means is lost.

Not knowing how to let grey wisp know that sometimes a return may never happen,  a silence chosen instead of expression.

Nothing said more,  a destiny that just seemed to end it all.

What broke an endless continuity was perhaps the breaking of a silence, the crossing of boundaries.