They are just a flight away, sometimes just a block away. Still as you break within, no one ever could make that flight or walk that block down to share a moment of your lonely battle. You begin a lonely inner journey, you learn to stall unshed tears a hundred times. There, out there those who know you are done within, work to finish you further. There, out there someone is too busy to see you crawl through life. Still out there someone lets you know that time was just sufficient to visit other friends, and adds that you simply cannot expect to be visited. Still others express inability in the most civil way,"I did plan to see you but then somehow the years passed quick" You learn to say "It's ok" you learn to appreciate civility instead of sincerity. Your grief is different because you are not a friend of priority. You learn to have a tighter heart than a fist as you acknowledge the busy schedule, the insufficient time and the unfathomable distance of a block away. As you look back, and see that it all was just a grief ago, you begin to be with your self, just your self and grow more distant than a distant flight or a distant block. As you look out into unknown battles that lie before you, as you see the vast expanse that sees you a speck in the horizon, you just learn to hold yourself for every battle alone. And you learn that all that is expected is a civil hat bow.
