It is difficult to identify them especially if your mind is least interested in such fourth rate evil. But then destiny sometimes presents them to you unasked. They come in all shapes, sizes and mental calibre. They could be anyone with an obsession to control and have power over other lives. It could be a spouse, a teacher, a so called friend, a parent, a sibling, a so called lover, a close relative, a colleague, an office boss, a family counsellor, anyone... but the process is the same, the goals are the same. They are united by a common goal-1) Idealize: not you, but whatever they wanted from you and only till they want it 2) Devalue: once they drain and play with you in their clutches, sometimes boredom sets in . 3) Discard: after they have drained you of everything they wanted from you they set their eyes on the next target of their vendetta . They are gifted to see through what makes you tick, they become a sympathetic friend if you are just yet to get over a death in the family, they are adept at adorning the relevant role just to get near what ticks you.They cross personal boundaries(physical and mental). For instance if they sense you are a 'no toucher' they will deliberately try to cross over your physical boundaries. Another popular method is the 'Silent Treatment' which involves ignoring or shunning the victim's presence to make them feel worthless and to confuse them with the discomfort of non communication. Silent Treatment is one of the most common forms of emotional abuse which is used to psychologically murder the victim.They have a tremendous manipulative ability to isolate you from the world around and their machinations strive to alienate the world from you. They may even convince your close circle to keep away from you under the pretext of giving them a picture that you need to become independent. And to you they give a valid manipulative explanation for your friend's withdrawal from your world. And most important they do take care to let you know that they are saving you from bad company and if at any moment you doubt their explanation they are adept at shifting the blame to all those around or to destiny by itself. But their goal is diabolically singular to have isolation as a means to meet their ends...the gradual degradation of your confident self. They engage in a subtle cycle of extreme peace, then violence, then apparent phase of remorse(which they obviously feel behind their heel) and then the pattern continues till you understand the subtle methods. Sometimes if it is an emotionally invested bond they alternate between offering you a sense of belonging and then just when you begin to hold unquestioned trust they apply emotionally draining techniques of devaluing your sentiments. A simple common technique is withholding emotional support lines as a phone call or refusing to let you have access to good friends or a secure job They like to see you starved emotionally, economically, mentally and physically just fatigued enough to exercise their dynamics of power control sport.They can spell your qualities into flaws, if you are virtuous you are commented upon as unfit for a corporate world, if you are generous to others it is called as running after others, if you are reserved and modest they call it introvert and a personal failure,if you are confident and sociable they condemn you as flirtatious, if you are hardworking they call it as exploitation by non existent others,if you are artistic whatever you create is called worthless, the list is endless. They twist truth without the slightest twitch of guilt or remorse just to fulfil momentary goals. While you are too baffled by the toxic relationship, while the toxicity is beyond your naive interpretation of reality, you may even fall into a state of perpetual denial what psychology terms Dissociative associations.The more you resist bending to their will and needs the more is their abusive strategy. And the moment they realize you have recognized the snake in the suit and might report, they indulge in threats, may physically attack you and stalk you with a singular desire to end your life before you let the world know they are just snakes in suits. And when you report except for the qualified, experienced people the ones who devalue your account are usually those who are snakes in suits themselves or those who have never known one yet themselves. They are specialized at Mind Games and their lack of emotional depth is disguised beneath a socially adept exterior of a suit. The little anecdote below is just one simple illumination that the reason behind the pleasure psychopaths derive from the process is just pleasure in itself:
One day a scorpion and a frog were by a river's edge and both needed to get across to the other side. The scorpion said to the frog, "Mr. Frog, would you be so kind as to let me on your back as you swim across this river? I have important business to conduct on the other side and I cannot swim in such a strong current." The frog was a little perturbed and so began to question the scorpion's motives. The frog spoke, "Mr. Scorpion, while I can appreciate the fact that you have business to conduct on the other side of this river, please consider what you are saying."
"You are a scorpion. You have a large stinger at the end of your tail. As soon as I let you on my back you will proceed to sting me which I might add IS your nature." The scorpion, ready for this, replied, "My dear Mr. Frog, it is clearly not in my interest to sting you at all! I do need to get to the other side and I PROMISE that no harm will come to you." Well, this made a great deal of sense to the frog, so the scorpion crawled on his back to make the trek across the river.
The frog was making good time getting across when all of a sudden, in the middle of the river no less, the scorpion began to sting the frog repeatedly. The frog, shocked at this development, cried, "Why, oh why are you doing this? You said you needed to get to the other side to conduct your business!" The scorpion replied casually, "Mr. Frog, you said it yourself. I am a scorpion. I have a large stinger at the end of my tail. And yes, it is in my nature to sting you."
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