Hard Nut Guilt

 I  like watching coconut trees but  hate walking under them. I hated walking under them after something awful happened. It was a summer afternoon of the 80's and I was looking for something interesting to do. Cousins elder to me were uninterested in my world of non existent creatures. Then, before something awful happened I loved to sit on the low built wall under a coconut tree and swing my legs. I was warned not to sit there since coconuts may fall in summer. I felt it was impossible for a coconut to fall on my head.

 My cousin spaced neatly by a year ahead of me sat beside me. I was seven then and he eight. Being eight he saw me as someone to be protected. I do not know why but he hated to see me sad or angry. He would give in to my every demand just to see me smile.

  He told me "coconuts may fall" I said" They wont. If you are scared you can go away". He mumbled " I will go only if you come". I said "I wont".So we sat there, watching the lazy antics of butterflies interspersed with his occasional reminder  "coconuts may fall". 

The story teller in me decided to tell him a story. He sat listening hugging his little knees and I began my story about a coconut" Once upon a time there lived a coconut who liked to roll...."

He heard the sound of something above us first because he grabbed my hand and then as that something was too near he tried to push me away. The coconut(the real world's) grazed my right shoulder but it hit his left side of the head.

 I saw him fall, I saw the elders rush out from the house. I heard them scream at me, I heard his whimpers, I saw them lift him and carry him to the hospital. I was quiet the rest of the vacation. Guilt and the awareness of one saving the other made me closer to him. I think he sensed it too, because when I touched his bandaged head

 he only asked," Did you hurt when they scolded you?"